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How to help new parents of twins
Bringing twins home can get pretty overwhelming fairly quickly so if you have a village or have friends or family members that want to help then why not.
There are many ways you can ask friends and family to help and support you as you bring twins to your new life.
This is not the time to be a superwoman. Let people help you.
It might seem small but all of those little things add up when you’re crazy busy trying to survive life with newborn twins.
And if you don’t have a village and find yourself taking care of twins alone.
Then there are also some things you might be able to pay for if you have the means to help make the transition much easier.
The first month with twins is all about surviving and learning so use the help whether is free or you can afford to pay for it.
Below are some of the different ways that people can support you and your partner in your new journey with twins.
People want to help. So give them a way to do so.
What to do to help moms with twins?
Be present and ask how can you help.
Remember that them helping you is not causing a burden is alleviating your mental state.
You need sanity.
Think about how much more you will be able to focus on your healing and learning all about your new babies.
With newborn twins, there is barely any time to feed yourself and keep your energy going.
The best way to help twin parents is to bring them food and make lots of freezer meals for them.
To be able to stick something in the oven for 20 minutes or just throw it in the microwave it’s priceless.
That will save them the time it takes to go to the grocery store, get ingredients, prep time, and then not forget the actual cooking of it.
No thanks. There is barely any time to take care of two babies. Yet alone feed yourself.
So food is an easy way to get people to help you with it.
Get gift cards
If for some reason you can’t bring them a cooked meal or your worry about food preferences and allergies then a gift card is also helpful.
This gives the parents a choice on what they would want to eat without having to slave away in the kitchen.
Yes, they will have the extra step of going into a restaurant to get food but this is way easier than being in the kitchen cooking all day.
Now there is even the option of purchasing gift cards for a delivery place, so there is no need to leave the house.
Stop at the grocery store
If you’re planning on visiting calling ahead and asking if you could stop at the grocery store for them will be priceless.
Saving a twin mom the time to get dress, get in the car, drive to the grocery store, and then think about everything she needs to buy it’s a lot of time wasted.
If you can just pick up groceries or supplies and bring them to their house.
They will be so thankful and appreciative to you for going out of your way to help them.
Help them do chores
Offer to clean, do laundry, dishes, etc.
Pretty much any chore they need help with. Even if you only do one load of laundry. This will help significantly.
The hardest thing about balancing twins is not just taking care of them but is also the fact that you still need to manage your house.
Taking that burden off the twin’s parent’s plate will help them focus on taking care of the babies and prioritize other things.
If you’re busy and can’t help giving them a certificate or paying for someone to come and clean their house will also help tremendously.
Again having someone come and take care of your house will free you and help you focus on prioritizing taking care of you and your babies.
One day help with babies
We are all busy.. and at times as much as you would like to help your friends is hard.
Maybe if you have one free day you can offer to take over the twin care or at least assist her so that she can focus on other things.
Coming over and helping can allow a twin mom to:
- Take a nap
- Run errands
- Get dress
Do anything that will help her stay sane and allow her to take care of herself.
I would say that nighttime was probably the hardest for me…
Because for the most part everyone wants to come and visit during the day and babies love to party at night.
Having an extra set of hands at night means that you can either:
- Get some sleep
- Focus on pumping if you’re doing so
- Make night feedings faster because there is two hands instead of one
Hand me downs
Twins are expensive and even though you don’t need two of everything you will need to buy more items than if you were only having one baby.
Have friends or family members bring your hand-me-downs.
If they are done having kids don’t be afraid to ask for baby items. Don’t turn down free clothing or baby items.
Not only will this save you money but is also a great way to test out a product before you spend a lot of money on it to find out that your twins don’t even like it.
Buy the basics
I know we all want to buy cute outfits and matching outfits because they are twins and why not dress them the same.
But this is the time to be practical.
Buy the items that they actually need.
Focus on basics like diapers, wipes, sleep sacks, pajamas.
These are the things that twin parents will be using regularly. Everything else is nice to have but not necessary.
Ask for specific needs
Something I wished people would have done is to just straight up ask me what do I need help with.
If they are close friends and family members I would tell them.
At times people don’t know how to best help you if you don’t tell them how or if they aren’t asking you how they can help you.
Don’t be afraid to have open communication. If you guys are close you should be able to talk about this without it being awkward.
In the end, you’re trying to find the best way to help your friend. So ask and give specific directions.
Since you’re coming over can you please stop at the grocery store first and pick up some items?
Can you do a load of laundry when you come?
Can you feed the twins so I can shower?
I know our instincts are to think we are being busy, but people truly want to help so give them clear and specific tasks they can do.
Entertain older siblings
If the twins aren’t your only kids they can feel left out because right now a lot of the attention is going towards the babies.
A good way to avoid this is to have friends and family come and focus on the siblings.
- They take them out on a play date
- Go do a fun activity
- Come and spend the day just with them instead of the babies
Having someone give them one-on-one attention not only helps you with releasing some of that guilt.
But they also feel that life doesn’t just revolve around the new babies.
Finding other twin moms to support as you go through this new journey will help you see that you’re not the only one facing all of the challenges of raising twins.
Support from other twin moms is priceless…
They can give you the good, the bad, and the reality of raising twins. Plus you get to see that if they survived it so will you.
You might not understand what it likes to have twins. But at times, we need is for someone to listen to our struggles and just let us vent without saying anything.
As moms, we get enough judgment as it is.
At times we just want someone to listen without interruptions, opinions, comments, and without questioning everything that we do or say.
Listen more and talk less.
Last words for how to suppport twin parents
The first month with twins is hard and is all about surviving. Let people help you.
But also give them specific tasks they can help you with.
If you have a village use it. It will not only make life easier but it will also help your mental state.
If you don’t have a village and can afford help then do it.
This is a transitional time and the priority should be taking care of you and those babies.
Everything else takes a back seat. So use the resources that you have to ease in this new journey of parenthood with twins.
Let me know if you ask friends and/or families to help you with your twins? I would love to hear about your journey in the comments.
Other twin related articles
- The best twin mom blogs and Youtubers
- How to survive newborn twins
- How to take care of twins alone
- Things you can expect the first month with twins
- Easy ideas self care ideas for twin moms
- Annoying questions twin moms get asked by strangers